Do you know how much I miss you.....

Yes..I know everything will be ends in the future even the relationship with family....

Dad told me you are lucky already because most people die if get that disease....

but you had get through it and live with us for another 20 years...

I had been live with you for four years....

I know you are easy to get angry is because you suffer from this disease...

Thats no one can understand how hard and how suffer it is...

I wouldn't even know until i read an article from a newspaper and i go search the information for it....

I don't even know when you are admitted to hospital.Just know that when I got back to home and mum told me about it....

Then in hospital..you started to getting serious and was sent to ICU.....

Then I went to visit you for few times only since mum and dad not allow because my final coming soon....

I still remember the last time I saw you....

You are getting thinner and thinner...

You can't wake up from bed,you need me help...You don't have any energy even to peel the grapes skin....

I saw the bruishes all over your body ....mum said even the leg also full of those...

You told me doctor said that is no place to inject already....So they keep on inject at the same place...

I saw the site of injection...

It is a pain in heart when I saw those...

Then when I got back to hostel and start exam.....

No one tell me when you passed away and everyone just keep it from me...

When one day I feel unsecured and I called to mum..

What I heard from the phone was a lot of noise...

Then I asked: mum why so noisy de??Where are you now???

Then mum said: at your godmother house, you auntie passed away and now they are praying for her....

I asked when it happened why no one tell me??I said I want go back but dad said nope...

A no for me that time i just break down and deep myself in tears....

I don't know what to said that time and i just started crying non-stop....

I regretted why I didn't stay strong that I want stay home then at least I can go visit you and know what actually happened.But then everything seems to be too late.....nothing I can do to go back or reverse the time...

Now you have left us for almost one year....

but I still miss you...

I don't know how..but now I realised I am not that strong like what I think...

Do you know??

Yesterday night I had been cried for you and today morning I did it again.

I just can't control the tears..

I hated my self so much now...

I feel so depress.....

I feel so weak and unhappy....

Now even a hug also can make me cry and cry....

I wanted to ask you....

Are you ok at there?

Are you getting better at there?

Are you still like to bake and cook???

DO you miss us....

And yes...I DO MISS YOU ...A LOT....A LOT...

DO YOU MISS US?

REST IN PEACE